America Cries Foul

As much of the globe has already heard, United States President Barack Hussein Obama, presumably the leader of the free world, sustained a serious enough injury to require a dozen stitches during a pickup basketball game when he smashed into a flying elbow (and no- six-foot, seven-inch Republican US Senator John Thune did not deliver said elbow). No political rival was near the court and the whack was evidently pure accident. This incident is not the first time or even first time in recent Presidencies where a US chief executive was hurt. George W. Bush fell while mountain biking and was somewhat torn up. (As an aside, Bush was also incidentally nearly felled by a pretzel). Gerald Rudolph Ford was roughed up on the ski slopes (which lesser politicians including former entertainer and then sitting California US GOP House member Sonny Bono and political aspirant Michael Kennedy sadly actually died on) which is why recent Presidents may have avoided riding up the lifts. Teddy Roosevelt was such a devotee of the manly art of pugilism that he sparred against a boxing champion at the White House and was so badly mauled that he suffered permanent injuries. Even if you think Obama is doing a worse job in the Oval Office than a literal Democrat donkey, you will agree that for safety's sake, he should avoid competitive basketball and stick to more sedate pursuits on the greens or perhaps take up a more cerebral game like chess. Anyway, the split lip now sewn back together may help President Obama cut back on (his other genius pursuit) smoking for a few days.