Saturday, April 19, 2014
Environmental Holy Day
A "holy day" has emerged for those who disdain the Lord and instead worship "mother earth". This Earthday holiday, which will fall on April nineteenth, is hilarious. Instead of a church, mosque, temple, or synagogue, a "green believer" can worship at the nearest tree. (Hopefully at the base, otherwise, the parishioner might fall off.) Perhaps, instead of baring the soul to a priest, the supplicant can confess his sins against gaia to a Keebler elf in the nook of a tree. I can hear the confessional now: "Before dusk, I turned on a light and last Monday, I did not carpool". I can see the penance too. On the coldest day of winter, you must set your heat no higher than fifty-eight degrees, even though you will end up wearing four sweaters. On days where the temperature passes one hundred degrees Fahrenheit, you must walk six miles to and from work. Your self-sacrifice will save the earth, except of course, in the overall scheme of things, what any individual does or does not do, has no measurable impact on the climate whatsoever. People did not create the earth, and it is the height of hubris to think that our everyday actions can save or destroy the planet.