Gas So High

Over this holiday weekend, gasoline prices in America are outrageous. They are so high that a Saudi sheikh sent me a thank you note for the gold bidet he was able to buy his fourth wife with the proceeds from my fuel purchase. Yep, even the filling station saw how expensive their 87 octane was, so they made me an offer: I could have the petrol in exchange for my first born, but that did not seem very practical, as that was who I was traveling to pick up. I thought about selling my plasma to fill the tank, but I would have run out of blood in the process. At least under Trump, you could afford a drive to the beach.